How to support a friend who is struggling with their mental health

Spotting the signs

People rarely announce that they're struggling. More often you notice small changes: cancelled plans, slower replies, less interest in things they used to enjoy, or jokes that sound a bit darker than usual.

If something feels off, trust that. Checking in costs nothing, even if it turns out they're fine.

What to say

Keep it simple and private: "I've noticed you've seemed a bit down lately. How are you really doing?"

Then listen. You don't need to fix anything. Reflecting back what you hear, such as "that sounds exhausting", shows you're taking them seriously.

What to avoid

Try not to compare ("I had that too and just got on with it"), minimise ("others have it worse") or rush to solutions.

Don't promise to keep something secret if it involves their safety. You can say you care too much to keep that to yourself.

Helping them find more support

Gently mention options like their GP, NHS Talking Therapies (you can self-refer in England) or Samaritans on 116 123. Offer to sit with them while they make the call.

If they tell you they're in immediate danger, call 999 or take them to A&E.

Look after yourself too

Supporting someone can be draining. It's fine to take breaks, to share the load with others they trust, and to talk to someone yourself.